Turquoise Monster

I am a poet, I am an artist, I am many things some of which seem contradictory – after the head bang last year the question of identity reigned large in my vision of self – not just my identity but everybody’s and societies reactions to identity issues – so I started working on a series of images.

I was learning how to draw again and the ideas were appearing faster than I could create them, I spent 3 months working on the visuals for A Stranger Dream. And mainly I have had positive feedback though some people do hate the style and that is fine it is stark, it was meant to be.

But what is A Stranger Dream? Well for a start it is not A Stranger Dream it is A Stranger Dream: Love but it’s not it is

Love: A Stranger Dream…

or both or neither or something…

It is a non-linear visual poem on identity, gender, our place within family, our concentric non-ecludian intersecting and exclusionary circles of all the cultures of us – it is the distorting mirrors within our own heads – the fitting and the not fitting – the fires within.

I know it doesn’t look it but it was a hell of a lot of work.

Then someone said “it says colouring in book to me” and I thought… why not?! I thought people colour to relax, to sort thoughts, to just be themselves and that is fitting – plus colouring in book is on the list of to-dos and I have been producing colouring in sheets for my kids workshops for ages.

So I started by popping the images up as individual sheets for download and colouring – they are still there and they are free.

Then I made ring bound ones at home for shows and events… people far away started asking how they could get hold of them so I have created a colouring in book complete with purple spine and title box because… I am the Purple Poet!!!!

Here is a picture of the spiral bound ones at The True Believers Comic Book Festival earlier this year.

And this weekend (April 22-14 2016) I am having a launch party – sadly I am only running a virtual one but it is going to be epic!!!

I will be pinging around the internet – of course hoping people will buy the book but as I said don’t feel you have to because I put the individual sheets out there for free download and I know times are tight (having said that I need to buy more art supplies… to you know produce more art!).

There is a Facebook Event, a Google+ Event, a twitter hashtag # astrangerdream and my patreon account (which will have hidden extras in it for patreons only). There are also the blogs namely this one and Turquoise Monster which is my poetry blog 🙂 So I think that is pretty much everyone covered – I am hoping to do a little film thingy too but we will have to see how the laptop holds up!

The colouring book is already up on Amazon and Book Repository etc… it is appearing as £10 odd – I meant it to be roughly £7 if you’ve bought the £10 copy let me know as I have a little goody bag to post to you containing some lovely tie-in items 🙂 (yes I am trusting people to be honest here! Thankyou 🙂 )

Oh and there should be a gallery unveiling where people can post pictures of their colouring in – if they wish 🙂

There are going to be give aways but there will also be merch for sale and special offers etc… (sorry guys I would love to give you everything for free but I do need a new computer!).

I am actually stupidly excited about this and am even making myself an outfit out of the art work! The poetry cards have arrived and are beautiful in a way I was not expecting 🙂

Most of all though regardless of weather you buy or take for free or just look – mainly I hope everyone will be enriched by the work itself, it was very important to me whilst creating it. It’s kind of an imprint of the soul, maybe a darker one than people would like but it is… something – I’m not quiet sure what.

I hope you will join me for turning the starkness into a rainbow.

People have been asking about the comb bound booklets and zines – I am very lucky in that I have been given an old laser printer so I’ve scanned the pictures I drew and inked and cleaned them up digitally and printed them. I’ve also been given a comb binder so I went out and bought some plastic combs and some cover sheets plus the “greenest” paper I could find ie from sustainable forests etc… and I printed, assembled, punched and bound the books – or rather I printed and assembled and then my husband bound them whilst I was sorting out stickers and things!

I arranged the booklets in 2 formats as it is a non-linear poem but if I ever get a completely functional printer I may alter the arrangement as I’d wanted both combinations in one book but it is tricky to do double sided things!

I was asked if I felt it was pointless to have made these now I am getting proper books made and the answer is no – the paper I printed these on is thicker paper than the colouring in books and takes paint well so I am keeping these as an extra add on for those who want to do painting and also for poetry workshops and festivals – people love to colour in!

Having said that I am only ever going to be producing 100 copies of it in this way!

The Fear

Before you were born
The Fear began
Blood marked anxiety
Over your future
Later it grabbed me
By the Lungs
As they injected me
To develop yours
So if I died
You could be plucked
Not ready but surviable
Death was a shadow over us
Labour dawned
With complications
A room bristled
With activity
I could say nothing
Just scream
Silently – SAVE MY BABY
Intervention, blood, pain
You were there
And I could speak
Whispering softly
Too Daddy
‘Go with the Baby’
His worried eyes boring
Into me

The Fear did not go
They placed you on me
And I sang a grace
‘Thankyou’
Thankyou for my
Cone headed, alien-primate
My beautiful monkey
Ancient and New
In the crib with you
The Fear tingled
As it still does
I check you each night
Even now
As often as I could then
Holding my breath
Checking yours

And as you grow
The Fear
Punctuates my thoughts
The less likely to choke
The more you run off
Into the world
Of dangers
Fear constricts my mind
But I can not restrain you
Killing out of kindness
Out of Fear
Is still killing
Including the mind death
Stifling the life
I watch you run
Explore

This is what love
Has wrought me?
This Fear
Fear of loosing you
And yet I would not undo
Would not exchange
The Fear
I would suffer more
For you
My little one
You grow
Grow strong and free
Maybe my fear
Is your blanket
Of protection
Inoculation against
The bad places?
I hope so
What else are
Parents for?

So regular readers of the blogs will know that I love my writing challenges and creativity drives. March was a rest or editing/typing up month. I always start the year off with a lot of poetry writing it helps clear the brain out 🙂 A kind of spring clean!

Month of Poetry in January and WoPo in February but now it is April and the third poetry writing madness NaPo!

That’s short for National Poetry Writing Month and is styled on the novel writing drive that happens in November each year – Nanowrimo.

Basically I am going to be attempting to write 30 poems at least this month with the actual target being more like 100 and the other thing I like to do is say that I’ll spend in and around that poetry writing… 1 hr a day working on things to do with poetry so that is submitting, drafting, blogging, replying to emails about events etc…

Wish me luck and join me 🙂

Glass Bones

A glass pelvis
Loose at the seams
My own pain apocolypse
Drenched in crises
Drowning in agonies
Each step a razor blade
Cutting into the fabric of me
Misalined, broken, bent
A pelvic shard
Shatters in muffled screams
Crying in the night
Fragile
Walking burns
Dwindling the memory
Sensation a shade
Of grey nothing
Dampening thought
Punctured, pierced
By electric blue
Fizzing of the tail bone
A primate with glass bones
Can no longer climb trees
Nor hold onto the top branches
To which they once clung
The fruits of life
Are within those branches
Instead
Sitting Pain
Standing PaiN
Sleeping PAiN
Sensation PAIN
Separeted Pelvis
Pubis synthesises
Gurdle stretched and broke
Aches and daggers
Dragging down
ME
Whinning of the glass rim
I do not drink of this misery
Just listen
Pelvis sing
Glass siren lurring
Monsters of the Id
All nasty qualities
Are distorded within

It’s World Poetry Day – I napped and had a lucid dream – I made it the poem.

1. Take one apathetic, peaceful, book-loving student body intent on learning

2. Tenderise with cuts and broken promises

3. Optionally add agent provocateur/thug type – this speeds the reaction but is not necessary due to using the kettling technique – guaranteed to bring anyone to a slow violent boil

4. Sprinkle in a portion of police – ill-equipped and vulnerable causing the trigger happy reactions that seem justified – adds flavour

5. Leave to simmer with the odd bit of bait/sacrificial target to get the crowd proving

6. Knead in naive youth quick to follow the flow – after it swells to double the size – bash it down

7. Season with paparazzi to bring out the ‘incite to violence for the perfect photo’ flavour

8. Add a match and Voila! The Social Flambe – Riot

9. Garnish by only reporting the juciest politically-approved bits to the general public

10. Serve piping hot and full of bias and lies

I am not a Yummy Mummy
I find the concept funny
My baby is NOT a fashion accessory
And not simply cos I don’t have the money

I am not a Shut Up And Watch TV Mummy
I try not to junk fill the tummy
My kids are not disregarded so I can party
Or dress up tarty

I am not an Eyes On The Prize Mummy
I’ve got a part in a movie SURRIZE! Mummy
A push and preen and pimp your kid Mummy

I’m not an Earth Mother Mummy
Making the kids eat whole foods and organic honey

I’m not an Ultra Thin Lets Go To The Gym Mummy

No I’m none of these
I’m WORSE

I’m an Urg! I’m tired and the kids are wired Mummy
A I’ve grown the veg, dug it but forgot it and burnt it Mummy
A lets go to Macky Dees so they can get to sleep Mummy

I’m a lets do homework and go to the park Mummy
An eek! opps! don’t worry about the mud Mummy
I’m a we don’t have a TV Mummy
So lets watch DVDs Mummy

A lets snuggle and read a story Mummy
But you’ve annoyed me so now I’m a shouty Mummy

I’m a scatty forget to make the lunch Mummy
A the washings ups not done cos playings to much fun Mummy

I’m a do your best and Oh WOW you won a prize Mummy
You didn’t? Never mind now don’t cry honey!

I’ a doughnut munching,
crisp crunching
but its ok
cos they’re homebakes
and it’s a Friday Mummy
A muddling through
A home bake mistakes
Opps!
I’ve burnt the cakes Mummy!

A just surviving but that’s ok
Cos you know what?
I’m always a cuddly, snuggly
MUMMY!

The WigglyPet Press ie us went to the local comic book convention in Cheltenham. The True Believers Comicbook Festival.

We took the baby yeti from The Little Book of Spoogy Poetry who was a little bit worried when it saw the pictures of itself!

We made a new book stack out of an old storage unit which we’ve covered in black silky material – I think it worked really well for all the Little Books of Poetry and zines 🙂

The comb bound Love: A Stranger Dream got photographed a lot and there is much interest in it being made into a proper books 🙂

We played – I am dressed as the Opronics Light Core of the Super Computer AI in my Punk’s Universe which is the comic book and novel stuff I do!

This warrior girl mistook Baby Yeti for some sort of ice creature – it was almost very nasty 😉

Yesterday I had an amazing time at Picocon, I didn’t get into any of the talks had amazing convos and met a few old friends. Hubby says there were people we’d met at other events including the Cheltenham and Bristol ones but I still have face blindness so apologies if I did not say hi! People seemed to love the steam punk stuff and I have ideas for more fantasy and cyber punk jewellery 🙂

With the wiggly pets I still have the er… parental barrier – so kids love them, kids want them, kids grab the book and beg to be allowed it (it cost £3) but parents always say no – always :/

Lastly I know some people are hacked off that we didn’t come to see them but we left the house at 5am and got home at almost 11 pm and only went to picocon there just was no spare capacity and even if we were just seeing people we couldn’t visit everyone on a whole weekend to london let alone squeezed in around a convention! (And I have been posting for weeks!!!! that I was going to be at Picocon so was kind of surprised how many people were surprised we were suddenly in London!).

For Scifi, horror, fantasy, steam punk, comic book, spec fic fans – picocon is a minute little event but punches well above it’s weight for pure awesome geekiness 😀